My year has started without any drama. Which is in itself is a pleasant event. It is not without challenges though.
Money these days is a constant issue in my life, but not an end all type of concern. I am starting out with a bit of a struggle financially but I am sure that with focus I will be fine. LOL, "FOCUS" I believe that is one of my more pressing concerns. I am making some strides in grounding myself and staying on task as it would be, so I believe that I will eventually prevail in this. I just need to survive the pending calls of people wanting their money now!
My biggest concern is me and my relationships. I know that I do want one with someone special but not so sure if I am in a position to be a good partner right now. I feel that I have gotten used to being alone over the years and doing my own thing that I am not comfortable with changing anything. I am afraid to commit to any one person. I know that I need to effect change in my life and except it as growth, but I am not always willing. Its all new and confusing, there is a sense of safety in the things that are familiar to me, which draws me in to not allowing the change. Kind of a vicious circle!
I am in search of a new shrink to discuss this with. Talking to someone that is outside of my world can be very helpful. For me it is important to find one that I am comfortable with, not one that I expect to tell me everything is okay and wonderful, but one that will shoot straight with me and no belittle me for being such a mess. I have a very good friend that is really finding herself after she started opening up with her Doc. It has made a big difference in her, she was reluctant and scared at first. I was very glad that she connected well with her confidant as I see them. Now if I can just find another one for me that I can open up too!
With those at AA I feel that the motto of "One Day at a Time" is a good foundation for getting on your feet again. I do feel that I now need a more forward looking attitude and plan. I have a half baked business plan that I can focus my personal life on. The hardest part is the beginning, I have always said that I really believe it. So I guess my first step into the future is this one!
Be safe and Happy!
Pirate03
Money these days is a constant issue in my life, but not an end all type of concern. I am starting out with a bit of a struggle financially but I am sure that with focus I will be fine. LOL, "FOCUS" I believe that is one of my more pressing concerns. I am making some strides in grounding myself and staying on task as it would be, so I believe that I will eventually prevail in this. I just need to survive the pending calls of people wanting their money now!
My biggest concern is me and my relationships. I know that I do want one with someone special but not so sure if I am in a position to be a good partner right now. I feel that I have gotten used to being alone over the years and doing my own thing that I am not comfortable with changing anything. I am afraid to commit to any one person. I know that I need to effect change in my life and except it as growth, but I am not always willing. Its all new and confusing, there is a sense of safety in the things that are familiar to me, which draws me in to not allowing the change. Kind of a vicious circle!
I am in search of a new shrink to discuss this with. Talking to someone that is outside of my world can be very helpful. For me it is important to find one that I am comfortable with, not one that I expect to tell me everything is okay and wonderful, but one that will shoot straight with me and no belittle me for being such a mess. I have a very good friend that is really finding herself after she started opening up with her Doc. It has made a big difference in her, she was reluctant and scared at first. I was very glad that she connected well with her confidant as I see them. Now if I can just find another one for me that I can open up too!
With those at AA I feel that the motto of "One Day at a Time" is a good foundation for getting on your feet again. I do feel that I now need a more forward looking attitude and plan. I have a half baked business plan that I can focus my personal life on. The hardest part is the beginning, I have always said that I really believe it. So I guess my first step into the future is this one!
Be safe and Happy!
Pirate03
