The Ninth of Forever!

      Hello All! I have been neglecting my writing, I do remember reading the blog of another addict and one of the things she talked about is that at sometime as she was having less and less drama in her life the less she was writing. I started wondering if that was the case for me.
      As it turns out, it pretty much is. I have found that as I accept things for what they are and realize what things I do and do not have control over, that my life becomes just a bit more manageable. It really is a comforting feeling to wash over you. Now don't get me wrong, there are still issues, but I know when and how to deal with them now. That in itself is an Armstrong on the moon kind of leap for me.
      Like today. In a perfect world today should have been my 27th Wedding Anniversary to the one woman that I have always loved. But because of my lovely past I am spending this day alone, quietly reminded that my actions or lack thereof had a big price to pay. I know it sucks, it really does, it will haunt me I am sure for my remaining days, (I would make a lousy criminal, my conscience would be my  undoing), but I have come to accept this as my road forward. With luck one day when I least expect it I may meet someone that I can share a life with. For now I have myself and a wounded ego to look after and that in itself could be enough right now. But for now I will quietly reminisce of how things were and how they could have been if all things were perfect! Love you all, loving me again and hoping and planning for a better future!

Be safe and Happy,


Pirate03 

I did a thing.....

Ok, I know I have been away for to long. I had some internal struggles I was letting bring me down. Which in retrospect should have had me here more often!!! LOL

I have climbed out of that hole I made for myself and I am feeling good the past few days. Today though I feel fantastic, yes it is a beautiful day outside but I feel awesome inside as well. My mind and body are getting into sync it would seem. Of course I still have issues...lol... I will always have issues, but right now, right here I have them under control!!!!

Trying to let go of some of my past, it has benefits, once you find the how to getting it done. That is the trick to it. I do have doubts in my head and still want to hold on to some things, but in the big scheme of it all I know I must let go to move on. Sounds silly when you first think of it, but it will become clearer as it begins to happen.

Today though.... today is starting out in epicness. I only say that because I did something today that I have not done since I was a boy. I ran. I ran cuz it looked fun. I ran cuz it looked fun and it was! Silly isn't it! I had a laugh at myself because it felt incredible. Remember I spoke of that sad day in Kentucky. That day is gone, I have been feeling the sun, hearing the birds and smelling the fresh air. It is all coming back, piece by piece and I am falling in love with life! LOL. Silly boy.

Be safe and Happy,


Pirate03